Victor Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Now that my depression was lifting and I was starting to think positively about life, I became conscious of another problem. During all this time my libido had gone into negative country, but it came home to me very forcibly that things had changed. I had the embarrassment of having to tell Colin that he would have to change the sheets on my bed. Clearly I had built up quite a load during this period of abstinence and the bed was stained.

“Col, for the first time in years I had a wet dream last night. Please will you change the sheets on my bed and help me to shower”

He took it in his stride. “It had never struck me, but without hands there’s no way you can relieve yourself. I don’t think they do a wanking attachment. Can I help in future?”

“That’s a lot to ask. Are you sure?”

“Vic, can I be frank with you? I’ve been trying to tell you this for a while but I couldn’t find a way and didn’t want to upset our relationship. I’ve fancied you ever since we became friends at school, but I was sure you were totally straight and I didn’t want to do anything that might put you off me.”

“I never realised. It wouldn’t have mattered to me.”

“Have you ever been with a man, then?” Col asked.

“Never, but if I had it would have been you. If you are gay, I suppose you have a lot of experience with guys.”

“No. My only partner was my right hand. I’ve read a lot and looked at the internet, but I was always too shy to do anything about it. Anyway, it was always you I wanted. Why do you think I came to the hospital every day? I’ve loved you for years but I knew it was hopeless.”

“Never hopeless, Col. I’ve always valued your friendship, but I thought you came to get away from home.

“That is part of it, but one reason life was so difficult at home was that my mother found some gay mags and neither of my parents could come to terms with the possibility of my being gay. I had to get away somehow, and you gave me the opportunity. It was like a dream come true to find a job looking after the man I loved.”

There was nothing I could say, so I simply opened my arms and we embraced and kissed for the first time ever.

I was sitting on the bed whilst this conversation took place, and Col pushed me back as we kissed, then his hand slipped down to my cock.

“This will never feel lonely again” he told me as he stroked it, then he kissed the head gently as a prelude to taking me into his mouth. I thought I had been drained in the night, but as he used his lips and tongue on me, I realised that there was plenty left.

“Col, now it’s my turn.” And so it was. I had never touched another man’s cock until then, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lick and caress him with my tongue and take him into my mouth. When he came I was glad to swallow that wonderful fluid, and felt that this made us truly one. My only regret was that I couldn’t hold him.


That was all we did that morning, but it was enough. We had admitted our love for one another and found a way to express that love, and we knew that we had all the time in the world to explore further.

We soon found new ways to express that love. At first we were happy to keep it oral, but then Colin said “I’ve heard a lot about how wonderful fucking is. Do you think we should try it?”

At the point I was still in the chair and I could not see how I could fuck Colin, but I had no hesitation in replying “My body is yours and I can think of nothing better than to feel you inside me. Yes, please, I want you.”

He lifted me on to the bed and we began to caress one another as we had done so often, but once I had sucked him into an erection, he rolled me over, slathered lubricant all over his cock and my arse and began to push his way in. It hurt like hell, but although I moaned he kept on and it felt a little better when his cockhead, which I knew to be large, slipped inside. It was only a bit better, though, and he kept pushing until I felt his belly against my butt-cheeks.

“Colin, I can’t see how anyone can do this for pleasure. It hurts. He moved gently and slowly, and whilst it was still painful, I began to feel other things as well and slowly it began to feel pleasurable. Very soon the pleasure took over and I loved to feel Colin moving inside me. It spoke to something deep as if I had surrendered a bit of myself by allowing another human being to penetrate my body, and I loved it.

I never found a comfortable way to fuck Colin but I was so much happier being on the receiving end that it didn’t matter. As long as he could bring me to orgasm, I loved to have him in charge sexually and went along with anything he suggested.